Recently, a reader wrote in with the following dilemma seeking advice….
Six months ago, my girlfriend ended our year long relationship. I’d been thinking about doing the same (since distance had been making things stale), but it was a huge blow to my ego when she ended it first. It was a slow recovery, but I made some progress: going on dates, picking up hobbies, and just generally bettering myself, but I was partially doing it to make her feel like she was missing out. (I should also mention that I haven’t gotten laid since the breakup–but not for lack of going out. I just haven’t been that attracted to any of my dates.)
Fast forward to a month ago–I was visiting a mutual friend in her part of the country, and he decides to mention that my ex had been seeing other people. Fuck. I relapse on my progress and text her to grab a drink. No dice.
I’m glad she refused since I know how stale the same relationship would have ended, but once again, my ego’s fucked.
How do I get over my bruised ego?
How do I fuck 10 other women when I’m constantly comparing them to the positive aspects of my ex?
Since I just moved to a new city without many sociable friends, what’s the best place/method to meet women by myself? (The dates I mentioned have all been through dating apps.)
Maintaining a relationship has nothing to do with your ego. You connect with some girls and you don’t connect with others. It is simple.
5 to 6 years ago I was having a relationship with a hot girl that she was very much in love with me for some reason but I was always bored when around her. So I ended the relationship.
2 years ago I was having a relationship with a girl way uglier than the first one, but I was always having good moments with her. She ended the relationship as she found a guy who would feel her needs better than me. I really had a bruised ego at the time and I could not stop thinking about her……waste of time and ego lol
I just realized that it is not about you or 1 person, it is about 2 people who manage to connect and be on the same page for some mysterious reason. It sucks getting dumped. I had a similar fall a while ago when one of my relationships ended.
My advice is not perfect but here’s what happened since then:
> I find that time is the best healer of them all. Feel those feelings, don’t suppress them or run away from them. Mourn over them truly if you have to, to let them out.
I felt those things.
Then I started picking myself up. Work actually helped me a lot in forgetting the hurt.
Along the same time I started going to gym, exercise releases a lot of feel good chemicals. Do it consistently. I started seeing some women, met some nice ones and not so nice ones. Had sex, kissed whatever.
Then I met another girl, saw each other long term and continued from there.
It’s hard but you should think rationally, she’s entitled to move on with her life. She’s entitled to see other people, your relationship has ended.
You too will eventually move on with time. Maybe you won’t forget her completely until you meet the next amazing girl and then you’ll be all happy any stuff. Just make the move. I always go sexual by the second date. You might be too late as I don’t know your situation.
If you are already too invested in these 10 girls without having had sex with some of them I’d start being naughty a little more to see how their response is.
Someone in the general seduction chat asked a very similar question on how/where to meet women, the answer is simple, you can meet them everywhere. Just talk to them as if it’s no big deal. And take it from there. You don’t need much for the MILF’s at the hotel bar, mozy up say hello.
Look clean, look her over up and down but not like leisure suit Larry, that’s what they need and want – validation and proof they are not getting old. Complement her body, she’ll star purring and that’s pretty much the time to close the deal.